Austen’s treatment of the theme of love and friendship in Pride and Prejudice

 

Q.03. Comment on Austen’s treatment of the theme of love and friendship in Pride and Prejudice

 

Ans:   

“Happiness in marriage is entirely a matter of chance. If the dispositions of the parties are ever so well known to each other or ever so similar beforehand, it does not advance their felicity in the least. They always continue to grow sufficiently unlike afterwards to have their share of vexation; and it is better to know as little as possible of the defects of the person with whom you are to pass your life.”

 

Throughout each of Austen’s novels, friendship plays a prominent role. Reflecting on the nature of virtuous friendship, Aristotle notes that true friendship does not readily exist where there is great inequality.  In Pride and Prejudice, all three types of friendship are on display.

 

Of the two imperfect kinds of friendship, the marriages of Lydia and Charlotte provide good illustrations. The marriage between Lydia and Mr. Wickham proves to have no other foundation than that of the pleasure one can gain from the other, and, as it turns out, there is no intention on the man’s side to fully pursue the marriage until he receives financial incentives to do so.

 

In the case of Charlotte, she is well aware of her position in society and that her future economic security depends greatly upon her marriage. Nevertheless, she not only welcomes his overtures, but even seeks them. In these marriages, there is no proper foundation of mutual care and respect for the other. Mr. and Mrs. Bennet provide a prime illustration of the risk that such couples run if they do not base their marriage upon a solid relationship. Mr. Bennet has found that he cannot esteem his wife, while Mrs. Bennet does not care for that esteem and respect. As a result, their household crumbles beneath them, to which Lydia’s unrestrained, unprincipled behavior testifies.

 

Determined not to follow in the footsteps of her parents, Elizabeth approaches the question of marriage with a steady reasonableness, avoiding the potential advances of Mr. Wickham even before she fully knew his character due to the imprudent nature of a match with little money on either side and hints of inconstancy on his side already beginning to show. The reader is also assured of her own resolve not to marry for mercenary motives either, as she scorns her sister Jane’s attempts to defend Charlotte’s marriage. On this occasion, Elizabeth emphatically asserts that “you shall not for the sake of one individual, change the meaning of principle and integrity, nor endeavour to persuade yourself or me, that selfishness is prudence, and insensibility of danger security for happiness.” And while she eventually learns to think of Charlotte’s decision in a less critical light, she still recognizes that the level of mutual trust and friendship could never be the same between Charlotte and herself, due to such a fundamental difference in principles.

 

Of course, Elizabeth does find the man she can love and respect in Mr. Darcy. Though one might suspect she harbors a trace of the mercenary motive given that her affection began once she had been to Pemberley, the narrator provides enough insight into her thoughts to assure the reader that Elizabeth’s affection is founded upon her growing respect for Mr. Darcy’s taste and true, generous character. Likewise, while Darcy’s love may have initially begun as a sort of infatuation with her unorthodox beauty and playful character, he grows to truly appreciate and esteem her character.

 

Ultimately, Austen proposes a model for relationships that may appear rather unsatisfactory to a modern reader’s notion of romance. Elizabeth’s attraction to Mr. Darcy may very well be described as rational, founded first of all upon an appreciation for his taste and judgment rather than an attraction to his appearance or behavior. Nevertheless, with such a foundation, Austen assures the reader that Elizabeth and Darcy will have an enduring marriage. Confident in her expectations of happiness, Elizabeth compares her felicity to Jane, who “only smiles,” whereas she laughs.